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Words & music

 Ed Pickford © prs

The subject of my lecture here tonight

Is physics and the role it plays in life

A topic most neglected – yet everyone’s affected

And ignorance about it is quite rife

My views coincide with all the gurus

Though unlike them you won’t see me transcend

Yet we speak with one voice – in life you have no choice

It all comes down to physics in the end


Chorus:

 It all comes down to physics in the end

 It all comes down to physics my dear friend

 Nothing makes you madder than falling off a ladder

It all comes down to physics in the end


The guillotine seems harsh but rest assured

Its momentary pain can be endured

There is hardly time to flinch as that pressure per square inch

Makes sure your bleeding headache’s quickly cured

What a feat of shearing engineering

How graceful is the blade that doth descend

Yes Marie Antoinette - said to her friend, “Don’t fret

It all comes down to physics in the end”


Chorus:

 It all comes down to physics in the end

 It comes down to physics my dear friend

 Taylor said to Burton, “There’s one thing that’s certain

It all comes down to physics in the end”


There was a soldier only six-stone two

The lightest paratrooper in his crew

When he jumped from a plane well he’d bounce straight up again

And no one knew just what the deuce to do

Fortunately Squadron leader Newton

Isaac to his friends and to his squeeze

Said, “Ay-up lad don’t frown - I’ll help thee get straight down

Just tie these two big sandbags to they knees


Chorus:

 It all comes down to physics in the end

 It comes down to physics my dear friend

 You will hear a bug scream as it hits your windscreen

It all comes down to physics in the end


A thermos keeps things cold – and keeps things hot

I think it’s that ruddy marvellous eh what – what?

How does a thermos do what you want a thermos to?

Yet never needs instruction – not one jot

You may think that matter doesn’t matter

And science chatter drive you round the bend

But sure as phlegm is phlegm – birth right to the crem

The next time that you walk into a door


Chorus:

 It all comes down to physics in the end

 It comes down to physics my dear friend

 When you kill a Meerkat with a Tetley’s beer mat

It all comes down to physics in the end


Ending:

My good friend Edgar Briggs - died eating 50 figs

He said, “It all comes down to physics in the end!”



It All Comes Down to Physics in the End