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All songs words & music © Ed Pickford PRS/MCPS

Dear Alex Salmond – I’m sending this note

Hoping that one day I give you my vote

Down here in England we’re under the cosh

The poor go to food banks- the posh keep their dosh

Cameron & Osborne they both make me sick

Two millionaires with a hamster called Nick

“We’re in this together,” they keep telling me

Alex it’s coo shit so please hear my plea


Dear Alex Salmond – could you fix it for me?

I want to be Scottish – when Scotland is free

I live in England – but I want to join you

Alex – dear Alex - could you fix it the noo?

Alex I’m north of the north south divide

No doubt about it - we’re on the same side

Birds of a feather – like eagles in flight

We know the south – don’t give a light

They’ve stolen the oil that was found on your land

It makes my blood boil how they treat Jimmy Shand

Did you hear Alex – believe it or not

They’re tried to charge more for a pasty that’s hot


Must close now Alex – so I catch the post

Imagine me here – like poor Marley’s ghost

Wrapped up in chains but yearning to be

Where all the tuition & eye tests are free

TTFN slainte SNP

Write back dear Alex – ASAP

You won’t regret – helping if you can

Like Tammy Wynette – I stand by my man


Alex reply:

Dear Sassenach slave – thanks for the note

Yes Cameron’s a knave and Obsborne’s a stoat

And Alistair Darling - why man what is the craic?

His hair is snow white and his eyebrows jet black

Ah sure yer ken weel we hey God on Oor side

When we eat oor Mars bar we like them deep fried

May your lum always reek – may ye never get nits

May your bum never squeak - I hope the kilt fits

Dear Alex Salmond