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All songs words & music © Ed Pickford PRS/MCPS

What I am telling you I swear is absolutely true – that in 1872

Queen Victoria’s son – known as Bertie to his mum – but Ed to me and you

Was sitting on his ass while the cows were eating grass in fair Northumberland

Lying on the floor covered up with straw for a murder he had planned

Now Bertie loved the thrill of finding something safe to kill  - on a mountain, moor or hill

Lord Tankerville’s remark that out there in the park was a bull that fit the bill

Made Bertie salivate – he could hardly to wait – for a beast of such dimensions

He liked nothing more than bloody guts and gore and all those upper class conventions


Bull, bull, the Chillingham bull – flower of Northumberland

A gentleman bull from his horns to his hooves in Chillingham Park did stand

‘Till he met Bertie the Prince of Wales – disguised as a bale of straw

Bang, bang, went Bertie’s gun and the Chillingham bull was no more.

The bull’s heart missed a beat when he saw a pair of feet sticking out from a bale of straw

Its eyes jumped from it’s skull at the sackless looking fyeul* who lay there on the floor  *fool  

Bertie aimed his gun towards the great big hefty ton of Chillingham best mince

At this terrifying sight - the herd turned white with fright - and they have been white ever since!

It’s true the bull and Bert were known to like a bit of skirt and they both had royal blood

They both had beards and balls - as history recalls - but that did the bull no good

Bert squeezed his digit - the “Chilli” bull went rigid – dead as a Big Mac burger

An artist drew a sketch of the poor slaughtered wretch – and of Bert what done the murder!

Northumberland is fine – it’s where the ancient River Tyne runs from hills down to the sea

Its castles proudly stand like vultures on a land with a blood red history

But even Viking hordes who with their mighty iron swords splintered brain and skull

Would turn deathly pale if they ever heard the tale of Bertie and the Chillingham bull  



The Chillingham Bull


Tony Wilson